It's Chinese New Year today, the jury not yet out on whether the petition to rename it "Everything Gets Blown Up Or Set On Fire Day" has passed. This is supposed to be the most family-oriented holiday in Chinese culture, as in if you're not with your family, there's a strict quota of tears you have to shed in front of a licensed tear counting official. My tear ducts are a bit out of practice since it's been over a year and a half now that I left the few people that know those precious weak points in my ego and can therefore step on them at will. Yuan Yuan's younger sister's got us both covered though.
This is probably the biggest culture shock I've experienced in a few months. A few hours ago Yuan Yuan mentioned offhand that her sister is probably drowning in a puddle of tears. I asked why (being a good boyfriend means you're required to ask a certain amount of questions) and the answer was something straight out of a dystopian novel. Yuan Yuan has four sisters so you might have to draw a diagram, but this is the basic idea:
Yuan Yuan's two older sisters are married so her youngest sister is not allowed in their houses on New Year's. Since she's back home in the village and has no way of making it to Beijing, and since Yuan Yuan's parents are currently also here in Beijing, it means she's all alone in the house. With no heating. And no internet connection. That's right, NO INTERNET CONNECTION.
Scratch what I said earlier, I think my tear ducts just breezed past that coefficient of static tear duct friction and surface tension and whatever else physicists have discovered to keep burly hairy (at least three chest hairs since I last counted) manly men from letting the tear out of its socket. Good thing I'm an excellent touch typist because I can't see a word on the screen anymore.
Showing posts with label Chinese New Year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chinese New Year. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Sunday, January 25, 2009
春节快乐 To All Russians
Every family has their little genetic/behavioral advantages and disadvantages. In our family, a popular setback is bad teeth. Gene and Ellen share the gold and silver medals for most unopenable mouths, with me arriving at the finish line in a few more years if everything goes as planned. But now it seems like Michelle is in the running for bronze, with the latest trip to the dentist shortening the distance between us by a factor of 5 or 10.
After I took Michelle to the dentist a couple of days ago, we spent many an hour in a state of open-mouthed shock (disgusting, I know). Our limited savings were quickly headed to Michelle's all-consuming black hole of a dental plan. But something or other thrives in times of adversity, and we (Gene) got to researching preventative measures. Here are some findings:
Finding #1: Genes aren't everything. Cavities mostly occur because of continued presence of sugar in the mouth. No sugar in your mouth, less cavities.
Obvious solution #1: eat and drink through an IV.
Obvious solution #2: get false teeth.
Less obvious and harder to implement solution #1: don't eat sweets. Ha! Talk about unrealistic.
Less obvious and harder to implement solution #2: brush after every sugar-binge, and by binge I mean anything bigger than a single speck of confectioners' sugar powder.
Finding #2: Xylitol. Yes, this sounds like something you're already giving your kids in pill form, but it isn't. Instead, it's a little miracle. Xylitol inhibits the growth of Streptococcus Mutans bacteria - the biggest threat to our great nation's teeth - the main bacteria associated with cavity formation. It's also magically delicious. And as an added bonus, chewing Xylitol gum when you're pregnant with child prevents transmission of the Streptococcus Mutans bacteria to the infant. Also chew it when you're breastfeeding anyone; xylitol is beneficial out of any orifice.
Obvious solution #1: buy some Xylitol gum and chew it till you're either all better, or it rips out all of your fillings, as gum sometimes does.
Obvious solution #2: avoid being the child of a non-Xylitol-gum-chewing mother, and/or get breastfed by a Xylitol user once you're out of the womb and making demands.
Obvious solution #3: eat only Xylitol-rich food. WARNING: this lifestyle correlates heavily with starvation. Fortunately, as we all know, correlation does not imply causality.
Less obvious and harder to implement solution #1: actually research Xylitol and find out if it works. And then when you find out that Xylitol is just a Placebo, laugh at those people for whom it works perfectly, and then go drop $10,000 into your dentist's pocket. Ah, last laughs.
A new song was written today/yesterday, coincidentally by me, called Pei's Chun Jie (Pei's Chinese New Year). Pei agreed (speaking retrospectively from the future) to let people listen to it here. It's an instrumental, so you don't have to be afraid of hearing me or Mario sing.
Hmm, Blogger is being a dick and not letting me upload the MIDI that I specially converted to MP3 and then to video to make it Blogger-edible. No worries, Lablz.com to the rescue! Pei's Chun Jie
After I took Michelle to the dentist a couple of days ago, we spent many an hour in a state of open-mouthed shock (disgusting, I know). Our limited savings were quickly headed to Michelle's all-consuming black hole of a dental plan. But something or other thrives in times of adversity, and we (Gene) got to researching preventative measures. Here are some findings:
Finding #1: Genes aren't everything. Cavities mostly occur because of continued presence of sugar in the mouth. No sugar in your mouth, less cavities.
Obvious solution #1: eat and drink through an IV.
Obvious solution #2: get false teeth.
Less obvious and harder to implement solution #1: don't eat sweets. Ha! Talk about unrealistic.
Less obvious and harder to implement solution #2: brush after every sugar-binge, and by binge I mean anything bigger than a single speck of confectioners' sugar powder.
Finding #2: Xylitol. Yes, this sounds like something you're already giving your kids in pill form, but it isn't. Instead, it's a little miracle. Xylitol inhibits the growth of Streptococcus Mutans bacteria - the biggest threat to our great nation's teeth - the main bacteria associated with cavity formation. It's also magically delicious. And as an added bonus, chewing Xylitol gum when you're pregnant with child prevents transmission of the Streptococcus Mutans bacteria to the infant. Also chew it when you're breastfeeding anyone; xylitol is beneficial out of any orifice.
Obvious solution #1: buy some Xylitol gum and chew it till you're either all better, or it rips out all of your fillings, as gum sometimes does.
Obvious solution #2: avoid being the child of a non-Xylitol-gum-chewing mother, and/or get breastfed by a Xylitol user once you're out of the womb and making demands.
Obvious solution #3: eat only Xylitol-rich food. WARNING: this lifestyle correlates heavily with starvation. Fortunately, as we all know, correlation does not imply causality.
Less obvious and harder to implement solution #1: actually research Xylitol and find out if it works. And then when you find out that Xylitol is just a Placebo, laugh at those people for whom it works perfectly, and then go drop $10,000 into your dentist's pocket. Ah, last laughs.
A new song was written today/yesterday, coincidentally by me, called Pei's Chun Jie (Pei's Chinese New Year). Pei agreed (speaking retrospectively from the future) to let people listen to it here. It's an instrumental, so you don't have to be afraid of hearing me or Mario sing.
Hmm, Blogger is being a dick and not letting me upload the MIDI that I specially converted to MP3 and then to video to make it Blogger-edible. No worries, Lablz.com to the rescue! Pei's Chun Jie
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