Today's high and low:
High: patient, productive (recorded a bunch of songs)
Low: self-pity + killer toothache
Did you ever notice that total badass and antonio banderas sound exactly the same?
Listen to yourself say it:
I'm a total badass
I'm antonio banderas
Identical!
I think there's a song to be made of this discovery.
More ridiculous Chinese dictionary fun:
上厕所 - to go to the bathroom
睡觉前，接受实验者先上厕所，再上床，之后其大脑活动也许至多保持十分钟便会入睡。
Before sleep, the subject leaves the room, gets into bed, and may remain mentally active for as long as ten minutes.
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Today's estrogen levels: high
Maybe it's time for this blog to make the evolutionary leap to a girl's xanga-style blog, where I whore out all my feelings for you beasties to feed on. Let's start gently though, with the day's high and low.
Today:
High: on the border between "eh" and "blah"
Low: why, God, why??
Meanwhile, more great dictionary examples:
骄傲 - "proud"
她很骄傲她从来没有和北方佬说过话。
She was proud that she never talked with a Yankee.
Hmm, better make that "example" minus the 's'
Nope, found another one:
碰巧 - "by chance, coincidence"
她试图自杀，但我们碰巧救了她。
She tried to commit suicide, but we saved her life by chance.
Today:
High: on the border between "eh" and "blah"
Low: why, God, why??
Meanwhile, more great dictionary examples:
骄傲 - "proud"
她很骄傲她从来没有和北方佬说过话。
She was proud that she never talked with a Yankee.
Hmm, better make that "example" minus the 's'
Nope, found another one:
碰巧 - "by chance, coincidence"
她试图自杀，但我们碰巧救了她。
She tried to commit suicide, but we saved her life by chance.
Friday, February 20, 2009
Who is Obama?
I was peeing today and I noticed something kind of weird. My pee smells exactly like Cheerios, and not the Honey Nut kind, the regular. I'm not sure what this means for my relationships with Cheerios and urination, but I sure hope I don't have to quit doing the second to keep the first.
Coincidentally, I had another bathroom dream today, where I can't find a satisfactory place to do my business no matter how hard I look. My bathroom dreams are riddled with obstacles that video games don't even dream of.
I was getting a tea bag out of the cupboard today, and I was failing miserably to get the flavor I wanted, or rather anything but the flavor I didn't want. Having taken an algorithms course at MIT, I knew that randomized algorithms kick ass. I'd pick a box at random and select a tea bag from it. If it was African Red Bush, I'd put it back and repeat the process. Assuming I remembered which boxes I already checked, this should have worked just fine. Unfortunately several circumstances were against me. First of all, when it comes to tasks like these, I'm your Guy Pearce from Memento. I never once remembered which box I already checked, so I was probably just checking the same box over and over. Secondly, the odds were against me: every single box was African Red Bush. When I finally realized this devasting truth, I had an interesting thought. Based on the given information I had no way of telling whether I was living in a house full of African Red Bush lovers or haters. Both scenarios made perfect sense. If the family is suffering from an African Red Bush fetish, then we probably buy truckloads wholesale. If we hate African Red Bush, we're probably still making our way through that one truckload from 1991, and drinking everything else first.
Now I'm thinking this probably applies to most situations, which is why we have the privilege of witnessing such wonderful misunderstandings. I'll be looking for more of these.
Madelyn sent me a hilarious image yesterday: it's a Google Search's Auto Complete giving suggestions for the typed-in phrase: "I am extremely"
Among the ten or so suggestions, was "I am extremely terrified of Chinese people," with 300,000+ results. I thought it was a joke at first, but then I tested it in my browser and it turned out to be true.
Curious, I decided to see what else the Google user base is interested in. Here are the results. In quotes we have search phrases typed into Google, and below them, Auto Complete suggestions:
"chinese people..."
chinese people eat babies (617,000 results)
"i..."
i can haz cheeseburger (956,000 results)
"why do..."
why do men have nipples (456,000 results)
"why is..."
why is my poop green (346,000 results)
"what do i..."
what do i do (550,000,000 results)
what do i do with my life (103,000,000 results)
"what if I..."
what if I am a black woman (10,400,000 results)
"what the hell..."
what the hell is Kwanzaa (119,000 results)
what the hell does a vegan eat (1,360,000 results)
"when did you..."
when did you stop beating your wife (681,000 results)
"who is..."
who is obama (126,000,000 results)
I kind of wish I could use Auto Complete for the sentences that come out of my mouth. That would make for some interesting conversations.
More great quotes from the Orient:
Pei: I don't like love
Coincidentally, I had another bathroom dream today, where I can't find a satisfactory place to do my business no matter how hard I look. My bathroom dreams are riddled with obstacles that video games don't even dream of.
I was getting a tea bag out of the cupboard today, and I was failing miserably to get the flavor I wanted, or rather anything but the flavor I didn't want. Having taken an algorithms course at MIT, I knew that randomized algorithms kick ass. I'd pick a box at random and select a tea bag from it. If it was African Red Bush, I'd put it back and repeat the process. Assuming I remembered which boxes I already checked, this should have worked just fine. Unfortunately several circumstances were against me. First of all, when it comes to tasks like these, I'm your Guy Pearce from Memento. I never once remembered which box I already checked, so I was probably just checking the same box over and over. Secondly, the odds were against me: every single box was African Red Bush. When I finally realized this devasting truth, I had an interesting thought. Based on the given information I had no way of telling whether I was living in a house full of African Red Bush lovers or haters. Both scenarios made perfect sense. If the family is suffering from an African Red Bush fetish, then we probably buy truckloads wholesale. If we hate African Red Bush, we're probably still making our way through that one truckload from 1991, and drinking everything else first.
Now I'm thinking this probably applies to most situations, which is why we have the privilege of witnessing such wonderful misunderstandings. I'll be looking for more of these.
Madelyn sent me a hilarious image yesterday: it's a Google Search's Auto Complete giving suggestions for the typed-in phrase: "I am extremely"
Among the ten or so suggestions, was "I am extremely terrified of Chinese people," with 300,000+ results. I thought it was a joke at first, but then I tested it in my browser and it turned out to be true.
Curious, I decided to see what else the Google user base is interested in. Here are the results. In quotes we have search phrases typed into Google, and below them, Auto Complete suggestions:
"chinese people..."
chinese people eat babies (617,000 results)
"i..."
i can haz cheeseburger (956,000 results)
"why do..."
why do men have nipples (456,000 results)
"why is..."
why is my poop green (346,000 results)
"what do i..."
what do i do (550,000,000 results)
what do i do with my life (103,000,000 results)
"what if I..."
what if I am a black woman (10,400,000 results)
"what the hell..."
what the hell is Kwanzaa (119,000 results)
what the hell does a vegan eat (1,360,000 results)
"when did you..."
when did you stop beating your wife (681,000 results)
"who is..."
who is obama (126,000,000 results)
I kind of wish I could use Auto Complete for the sentences that come out of my mouth. That would make for some interesting conversations.
More great quotes from the Orient:
Pei: I don't like love
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
Testing...Testing...Yep, Title Works
I recently had an interview with Microsoft in Shanghai for a summer internship. I already did this once before with Microsoft, in 2007, but that time I was interning as a developer, and in California (The US one). This time I was interviewing for a testing position. Testing also involves coding, but mostly to try to break things as opposed to building them. Doesn't sound too bad if you put it that way, who doesn't like destruction and chaos? However, I can't say that testers get the same respect as even the lowest codemonkeys (developers). I had the naivete of telling my parents about this opportunity and they didn't hesitate to convey to me the extent of my betrayal of all that is good and holy. My sister is quickly catching on with the general sentiment.
These days, when I come down to the kitchen, I'm liable to hear:
"Hey tester, get me some coffee. On the double, you low-life!" or
"I have failed as a mother! How will I show my face on the street with a son who's a tester!?" or
"What do you think you're doing? Testers don't eat at the same table as people. I already put your food in the litter box, get out of here!"
During morning meditation, Gene intones "please God! Buddha, Jesus, Mary, Moses, Elysha, Julia, Krishna, Babaji, Papaji, Yogananda, Tolle, PLEASE help me learn to love testers like I love human beings!"
Michelle doesn't even need to know what a tester is. It has the word "test" in it, and that's enough to elicit disapproval (to put it lightly...where "lightly" is an understatement and "understatement" is a euphemism).
When I told my friend in China, I got some more encouragement:
Pei: ur a bad horrible evil little thing
Since I am on a 30-day trial of not getting frustrated at anything I have no choice but to find all of this hatred and prejudice infinitely amusing, and save my tears for when I retire for the night. I look forward to more entertainment/crucifixion tomorrow, when I declare that I've finally found my life's true purpose - it is of course none other than testing. I should stock up on anti-heartattack medicine tonight.
Chinese is still the most important resident on my schedule, and my dictionary still hasn't ceased to amaze me. The example sentences for the words are waaaaay out there. Let's play a game. I will give you the example, and you guess what word that sentence is an example for. When you think you know, highlight the lines below the example to see the answer.
他殷勤地侍候她。
He danced attendance on her.
她喜欢仆人前呼後拥地侍候她.
She loves to have servants dance attendance (up) on her.
Answer: to attend on - 侍
尸体躺在血泊中.
The body was lying in a pool of blood.
Answer: to lie down - 躺
他善於随机应变, 总能摆脱追踪他的人.
Thanks to agile footwork he always managed to escape his pursuers.
Answer: to take off (clothes) - 脱
闭上你的嘴, 没人要你说话!
Shut your mouth, nobody asked you!
Answer: 嘴- mouth
And lastly, an easy one:
有人听见他在呻吟.
He was heard to groan.
Answer: to groan - 呻吟
That last one was out of a Chinese tabloid. Here is the rough translation:
Breaking news! The rising pop sensation Jay Chou has been heard to groan. Yes, yet again, a star falls from his pedestal. Mr. Chou has currently been isolated in Nanjing hospital. After the 1977 country-wide groaning epidemic, we can't afford to take any risks. For further information, see how one contracts "groaning" (not for the faint of heart).
Apparently groaning is a rare disease in China, like sanity is in my family.
These days, when I come down to the kitchen, I'm liable to hear:
"Hey tester, get me some coffee. On the double, you low-life!" or
"I have failed as a mother! How will I show my face on the street with a son who's a tester!?" or
"What do you think you're doing? Testers don't eat at the same table as people. I already put your food in the litter box, get out of here!"
During morning meditation, Gene intones "please God! Buddha, Jesus, Mary, Moses, Elysha, Julia, Krishna, Babaji, Papaji, Yogananda, Tolle, PLEASE help me learn to love testers like I love human beings!"
Michelle doesn't even need to know what a tester is. It has the word "test" in it, and that's enough to elicit disapproval (to put it lightly...where "lightly" is an understatement and "understatement" is a euphemism).
When I told my friend in China, I got some more encouragement:
Pei: ur a bad horrible evil little thing
Since I am on a 30-day trial of not getting frustrated at anything I have no choice but to find all of this hatred and prejudice infinitely amusing, and save my tears for when I retire for the night. I look forward to more entertainment/crucifixion tomorrow, when I declare that I've finally found my life's true purpose - it is of course none other than testing. I should stock up on anti-heartattack medicine tonight.
Chinese is still the most important resident on my schedule, and my dictionary still hasn't ceased to amaze me. The example sentences for the words are waaaaay out there. Let's play a game. I will give you the example, and you guess what word that sentence is an example for. When you think you know, highlight the lines below the example to see the answer.
他殷勤地侍候她。
He danced attendance on her.
她喜欢仆人前呼後拥地侍候她.
She loves to have servants dance attendance (up) on her.
Answer: to attend on - 侍
尸体躺在血泊中.
The body was lying in a pool of blood.
Answer: to lie down - 躺
他善於随机应变, 总能摆脱追踪他的人.
Thanks to agile footwork he always managed to escape his pursuers.
Answer: to take off (clothes) - 脱
闭上你的嘴, 没人要你说话!
Shut your mouth, nobody asked you!
Answer: 嘴- mouth
And lastly, an easy one:
有人听见他在呻吟.
He was heard to groan.
Answer: to groan - 呻吟
That last one was out of a Chinese tabloid. Here is the rough translation:
Breaking news! The rising pop sensation Jay Chou has been heard to groan. Yes, yet again, a star falls from his pedestal. Mr. Chou has currently been isolated in Nanjing hospital. After the 1977 country-wide groaning epidemic, we can't afford to take any risks. For further information, see how one contracts "groaning" (not for the faint of heart).
Apparently groaning is a rare disease in China, like sanity is in my family.
Monday, February 9, 2009
No Complaints
NOTE: All the whining and complaining below have no emotional component, and thus do not revoke my right to watch a movie today.
It's all been about Chinese the last few days; I've been neglecting pretty much everything else. It would seem that I would have some skills to show for the invested time, but as of now they are still wimpy at best.
I also spent some time fighting the new Flash format - "f4v" - but it is being a real 笨蛋 and refusing to do what I tell it.
Up until today I've been using McAfee Antivirus, but today there was some downsizing and McAfee took a hit. The complaints were numerous and all too valid to ignore. Here they are, in order of idiocy, from greatest to least:
1. You can't turn it off. Once it's installed, the only way to turn it off is to uninstall it. Otherwise, it runs whenever your computer is on. It's a program with no Exit feature! That's a little too versatile for me.
2. It scans. It constantly scans. I never know what it's thinking, it's always scanning. Is it scanning itself? I'd rather not know, so goodbye McAfee.
3. It updates itself every five minutes and then demands system restart. If you say "No, I'll restart later," it conveniently pops up reminders at 30 second intervals until you comply with its demands.
4. It's a whiny little bitch. If you change your settings to anything less than "Scan everything from files to family members' colons," it incessantly begs that you change them back, with the same patience as in complain #3. Well guess what happens to whiny little bitches in this family? They get uninstalled.
More wonderful Chinese:
留意 - to be mindful/careful
若要老婆留意自己所说的话，作丈夫的只要把话向其他女性说便成了。
If a man wants his wife to pay attention to what he says, he addresses his remarks to another woman.
Evil and wise, a dangerous combination.
It's World War III time.
棒 - stick (among other things)
示威者用棍棒和各种投掷物攻击警察。
Demonstrators attacked the police, using sticks and assorted missiles.
他们试图用一根铁棒撬开锁。
They tried to use an iron bar to pry open the lock.
侦探认为这根木棒和谋杀案有牵连。
The detective thought the stick was related to the murder case.
农夫拿著大棒追赶闯进来的人。
The farmer came after the intruder with a big stick.
我们接近她时, 她就挥棒乱打.
As we approached her, she laid about her with a stick.
So the movies are all true! They do beat the crap out of each other with sticks all day. It's probably a scheduled event:
Mr Li: honey! It's eight o'clock already. We're going to be late for the morning stick fight. It's the Zhang family's turn to take a beating, we don't want to miss it!
Mrs Li: crap! I haven't even finished sharpening my iron bar! And have you been going through my assorted missiles again? They're all out of order!
Mr Li: ah, sorry about that honey. We had a little impromptu fight yesterday after work. But good news, now there's no need to fire anyone.
Mrs Li: oh, wonderful! That's such good news! Ok, I think I'm ready. Iron bar - check, bamboo poles - check, flying daggers - check, missiles - check, dragon costume - check. Let's go!
It's all been about Chinese the last few days; I've been neglecting pretty much everything else. It would seem that I would have some skills to show for the invested time, but as of now they are still wimpy at best.
I also spent some time fighting the new Flash format - "f4v" - but it is being a real 笨蛋 and refusing to do what I tell it.
Up until today I've been using McAfee Antivirus, but today there was some downsizing and McAfee took a hit. The complaints were numerous and all too valid to ignore. Here they are, in order of idiocy, from greatest to least:
1. You can't turn it off. Once it's installed, the only way to turn it off is to uninstall it. Otherwise, it runs whenever your computer is on. It's a program with no Exit feature! That's a little too versatile for me.
2. It scans. It constantly scans. I never know what it's thinking, it's always scanning. Is it scanning itself? I'd rather not know, so goodbye McAfee.
3. It updates itself every five minutes and then demands system restart. If you say "No, I'll restart later," it conveniently pops up reminders at 30 second intervals until you comply with its demands.
4. It's a whiny little bitch. If you change your settings to anything less than "Scan everything from files to family members' colons," it incessantly begs that you change them back, with the same patience as in complain #3. Well guess what happens to whiny little bitches in this family? They get uninstalled.
More wonderful Chinese:
留意 - to be mindful/careful
若要老婆留意自己所说的话，作丈夫的只要把话向其他女性说便成了。
If a man wants his wife to pay attention to what he says, he addresses his remarks to another woman.
Evil and wise, a dangerous combination.
It's World War III time.
棒 - stick (among other things)
示威者用棍棒和各种投掷物攻击警察。
Demonstrators attacked the police, using sticks and assorted missiles.
他们试图用一根铁棒撬开锁。
They tried to use an iron bar to pry open the lock.
侦探认为这根木棒和谋杀案有牵连。
The detective thought the stick was related to the murder case.
农夫拿著大棒追赶闯进来的人。
The farmer came after the intruder with a big stick.
我们接近她时, 她就挥棒乱打.
As we approached her, she laid about her with a stick.
So the movies are all true! They do beat the crap out of each other with sticks all day. It's probably a scheduled event:
Mr Li: honey! It's eight o'clock already. We're going to be late for the morning stick fight. It's the Zhang family's turn to take a beating, we don't want to miss it!
Mrs Li: crap! I haven't even finished sharpening my iron bar! And have you been going through my assorted missiles again? They're all out of order!
Mr Li: ah, sorry about that honey. We had a little impromptu fight yesterday after work. But good news, now there's no need to fire anyone.
Mrs Li: oh, wonderful! That's such good news! Ok, I think I'm ready. Iron bar - check, bamboo poles - check, flying daggers - check, missiles - check, dragon costume - check. Let's go!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Family of Jerks
At last the no-water odyssey has come to an end. My poor teeth are crying bitter fear-drenched tears right now. If earlier I would eat some chocolate and then swish some water around in my mouth to not let the poor bastards (yes, the no-cursing marathon has ended as well) bathe for too long in evil glucose-infested waters, now I follow a chocolate binge with a tall glass of oversweetened tea or red supersaturated sugar water otherwise known as juice. And all without dental insurance! Who can say I don't live dangerously?
An interesting 30-day trial started today in my house. I'm not sure where the idea came from, but it's along the lines of a firm belief in this family - if you got offended - you're a jackass. So the 30-day trial is: "not getting frustrated/annoyed." Since this is not an easy task for such irascible people as myself and my parents (and myself again), we decided on a punishment in case of failure. Any time a person gets frustrated, they cannot watch a movie that night unless they manage to meditate away all of their frustration.
The trial immediately bore wonderful fruits. During today's half-hour-long evening meditation, Michelle, who was meditation-free and is not part of the 30-day trial group of masochists, decided to give us all a little test. We meditate downstairs in the TV room which is right next to the kitchen. For twenty of the thirty minutes, while trying to be as quiet as possible (during her mission of transferring the contents of the refrigerator to her stomach), she managed to make more noise than a hippopotamus eating contest. The results: while attempting to quell the furious impulses of righteousness (righteous anger that is), several contestants giggled and two received heartattacks. Auspicious beginning.
Of course, the real goal of this trial is to give everyone license to be little jerks, petty tyrants. By tomorrow, I have no doubt that the trial's high nobility will regress into a competition of who can say the ugliest truth about someone else, as bitterly and offensively as possible, and who can withstand a psychological seige the longest. By the end of the 30 days we'll probably be missing a number of limbs and at least three sanities.
More great Chinese example phrases:
逗 死 人 了! 是 你 太 笨 吧! 可以 想象 你 摔 倒 时 的 样子!
That's funny as hell! It must be because you are so dumb! I can just imagine your face when you fell down.
An interesting 30-day trial started today in my house. I'm not sure where the idea came from, but it's along the lines of a firm belief in this family - if you got offended - you're a jackass. So the 30-day trial is: "not getting frustrated/annoyed." Since this is not an easy task for such irascible people as myself and my parents (and myself again), we decided on a punishment in case of failure. Any time a person gets frustrated, they cannot watch a movie that night unless they manage to meditate away all of their frustration.
The trial immediately bore wonderful fruits. During today's half-hour-long evening meditation, Michelle, who was meditation-free and is not part of the 30-day trial group of masochists, decided to give us all a little test. We meditate downstairs in the TV room which is right next to the kitchen. For twenty of the thirty minutes, while trying to be as quiet as possible (during her mission of transferring the contents of the refrigerator to her stomach), she managed to make more noise than a hippopotamus eating contest. The results: while attempting to quell the furious impulses of righteousness (righteous anger that is), several contestants giggled and two received heartattacks. Auspicious beginning.
Of course, the real goal of this trial is to give everyone license to be little jerks, petty tyrants. By tomorrow, I have no doubt that the trial's high nobility will regress into a competition of who can say the ugliest truth about someone else, as bitterly and offensively as possible, and who can withstand a psychological seige the longest. By the end of the 30 days we'll probably be missing a number of limbs and at least three sanities.
More great Chinese example phrases:
逗 死 人 了! 是 你 太 笨 吧! 可以 想象 你 摔 倒 时 的 样子!
That's funny as hell! It must be because you are so dumb! I can just imagine your face when you fell down.
Friday, February 6, 2009
Idiots Don't Wake Up
All this meditation must be doing something because lately I've been having really long and plentiful dreams. Time to put some paper near the bed again so I can write them down as soon as I wake up. I'm pretty sure I see around 4 a night.
There was a beautiful one today that had almost no action - not usually my favorite recipe - but this time was very satisfying. I'm in Cambridge, looking over the Harvard bridge, and I watch as the last few cars get off the bridge and only the illegally parked ones are left. At this moment, a pair of headlights lights up the horizon from the Boston side, but the car responsible for them doesn't come into view, mostly I think because I don't want it to. At the other end of the bridge there's a castle instead of Boston, and the headlights put it in a perfect light. It's really majestic - the kind that deserves some poetry from someone other than me. I decide to take a picture with my cellphone.
The camera on my phone works really weirdly - this is where I should have gone lucid (if not when I saw the castle instead of Boston): for some reason (I'm thinking in the dream), the camera input is coming from satellite, and it's coming in really slowly. So first I see the view of everything from above, and then it slowly gets to me, and then it starts moving towards the castle. I keep snapping shots as this little movie plays out on my cell screen, all the way up until the view is moving up the castle walls, discovering towers in the darkness and whatnot. It was like a movie director's wet dream.
Another dream today had to do with two groups investigating some mystery concerning a giant mythical creature. The two groups were the Smart People and the Beautiful People. By some hideous flaw in the system, I was placed with the Smart People (how could I not have realized that I was dreaming? Just the fact that I didn't should have eliminated me from the Smart People group!). Anyway, the Smart People were in charge of figuring stuff out, and the Beautiful People were the ones that got all the action and took all the credit. But the two groups didn't cooperate well at all - I guess we wanted credit too, because the whole dream was really about running away from the Beautiful People and not giving them our intel. There was this really stupid door scene that reminded me of Signs - where the all-powerful aliens with their hyperspace drive and Kosher pork and whatever other crazy technology, can't get through a two-inch-thick wooden door.
Hopefully there'll be more dreams tonight. Hopefully I won't be an idiot and I'll realize that the third arm sprouting from my nose isn't normally there, and will go lucid. It's about time.
This online Chinese dictionary I'm using is too good to be true. It gives you example sentences for each word, and these examples are exactly the kind you want to be using on a daily basis. Take the word "guy" for example. In Chinese it's 家伙
Common usage examples:
他不是那种和你一样的坏家伙。
He is not such a bad guy as you (are).
这个平时温和的家伙简直发疯了, 开枪打死了十个人.
This ordinary quiet guy just freaked out and shot ten people.
你这忘恩负义的家伙!
You ungrateful wretch!
他是个卑鄙的家伙.
He's a scurvy wretch.
他是个笨手笨脚的[古里古怪的]家伙.
He's an awkward/queer old cuss.
你瞧那戴怪帽子的家伙!
Get a load of that old bloke with the funny hat!
Or "kill" - 杀
他们在密谋如何杀害他。
They are plotting how to murder him.
那只骚扰绵羊的狗被杀死了。
The dog that molested the sheep was killed.
因为宿怨，他最终杀了她。
He eventually killed her because of a long-standing feud.
I could read this thing all day, it's like a joke machine. And I can't wait to use all of these in China. Come visit me when I'm back, I'll be the guy in the little urn.
There was a beautiful one today that had almost no action - not usually my favorite recipe - but this time was very satisfying. I'm in Cambridge, looking over the Harvard bridge, and I watch as the last few cars get off the bridge and only the illegally parked ones are left. At this moment, a pair of headlights lights up the horizon from the Boston side, but the car responsible for them doesn't come into view, mostly I think because I don't want it to. At the other end of the bridge there's a castle instead of Boston, and the headlights put it in a perfect light. It's really majestic - the kind that deserves some poetry from someone other than me. I decide to take a picture with my cellphone.
The camera on my phone works really weirdly - this is where I should have gone lucid (if not when I saw the castle instead of Boston): for some reason (I'm thinking in the dream), the camera input is coming from satellite, and it's coming in really slowly. So first I see the view of everything from above, and then it slowly gets to me, and then it starts moving towards the castle. I keep snapping shots as this little movie plays out on my cell screen, all the way up until the view is moving up the castle walls, discovering towers in the darkness and whatnot. It was like a movie director's wet dream.
Another dream today had to do with two groups investigating some mystery concerning a giant mythical creature. The two groups were the Smart People and the Beautiful People. By some hideous flaw in the system, I was placed with the Smart People (how could I not have realized that I was dreaming? Just the fact that I didn't should have eliminated me from the Smart People group!). Anyway, the Smart People were in charge of figuring stuff out, and the Beautiful People were the ones that got all the action and took all the credit. But the two groups didn't cooperate well at all - I guess we wanted credit too, because the whole dream was really about running away from the Beautiful People and not giving them our intel. There was this really stupid door scene that reminded me of Signs - where the all-powerful aliens with their hyperspace drive and Kosher pork and whatever other crazy technology, can't get through a two-inch-thick wooden door.
Hopefully there'll be more dreams tonight. Hopefully I won't be an idiot and I'll realize that the third arm sprouting from my nose isn't normally there, and will go lucid. It's about time.
This online Chinese dictionary I'm using is too good to be true. It gives you example sentences for each word, and these examples are exactly the kind you want to be using on a daily basis. Take the word "guy" for example. In Chinese it's 家伙
Common usage examples:
他不是那种和你一样的坏家伙。
He is not such a bad guy as you (are).
这个平时温和的家伙简直发疯了, 开枪打死了十个人.
This ordinary quiet guy just freaked out and shot ten people.
你这忘恩负义的家伙!
You ungrateful wretch!
他是个卑鄙的家伙.
He's a scurvy wretch.
他是个笨手笨脚的[古里古怪的]家伙.
He's an awkward/queer old cuss.
你瞧那戴怪帽子的家伙!
Get a load of that old bloke with the funny hat!
Or "kill" - 杀
他们在密谋如何杀害他。
They are plotting how to murder him.
那只骚扰绵羊的狗被杀死了。
The dog that molested the sheep was killed.
因为宿怨，他最终杀了她。
He eventually killed her because of a long-standing feud.
I could read this thing all day, it's like a joke machine. And I can't wait to use all of these in China. Come visit me when I'm back, I'll be the guy in the little urn.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Indeed
February started today to my great surprise, and along with it, FWAM - February Album Writing Month...which would make it FAWM but pressing backspace is just not in me right now. I'm still not sure if I'm up to the challenge (14 songs in 28 days), but I got off to an OK start today. I have one mostly complete song, and a bunch of short melody sketches. I figure I'll try to write roughly one a day for the first 14 days, and then edit and record during the second half of the month. Yes, good plan, I agree. Hopefully it will be the second half of this month.
I've been trying to be more aware the last couple of days, and it has been roughly impossible. 99.99% of the time, I'm aware 0% of the time. And when I do pull myself into awareness, I can only be completely aware for precious seconds. If I'm not busy doing anything, if I'm just sitting around, I can collect more of those moments per minute - maybe 1 or 2. But if I'm doing something, anything at all - thinking up melodies, reading, eating, writing this sentence, it's hopeless; I'm a complete zombie. Every word you're reading right now, except the word "now," came out of some programmed state of being. I hope you're as disgusted with me as much as you should be with yourselves.
I'm sad to say that 30-day trials aren't going so well. Water, no cursing, and meditation are still cruising, Chinese is as well, but crunches have been all but abandoned for the last couple of days, and "writing for an hour" hasn't shown its face for four days-ish. I am at least a tiny bit ashamed.
Hmm. Sleepy.
I've been trying to be more aware the last couple of days, and it has been roughly impossible. 99.99% of the time, I'm aware 0% of the time. And when I do pull myself into awareness, I can only be completely aware for precious seconds. If I'm not busy doing anything, if I'm just sitting around, I can collect more of those moments per minute - maybe 1 or 2. But if I'm doing something, anything at all - thinking up melodies, reading, eating, writing this sentence, it's hopeless; I'm a complete zombie. Every word you're reading right now, except the word "now," came out of some programmed state of being. I hope you're as disgusted with me as much as you should be with yourselves.
I'm sad to say that 30-day trials aren't going so well. Water, no cursing, and meditation are still cruising, Chinese is as well, but crunches have been all but abandoned for the last couple of days, and "writing for an hour" hasn't shown its face for four days-ish. I am at least a tiny bit ashamed.
Hmm. Sleepy.
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