Indeed

February started today to my great surprise, and along with it, FWAM - February Album Writing Month...which would make it FAWM but pressing backspace is just not in me right now. I'm still not sure if I'm up to the challenge (14 songs in 28 days), but I got off to an OK start today. I have one mostly complete song, and a bunch of short melody sketches. I figure I'll try to write roughly one a day for the first 14 days, and then edit and record during the second half of the month. Yes, good plan, I agree. Hopefully it will be the second half of this month.

I've been trying to be more aware the last couple of days, and it has been roughly impossible. 99.99% of the time, I'm aware 0% of the time. And when I do pull myself into awareness, I can only be completely aware for precious seconds. If I'm not busy doing anything, if I'm just sitting around, I can collect more of those moments per minute - maybe 1 or 2. But if I'm doing something, anything at all - thinking up melodies, reading, eating, writing this sentence, it's hopeless; I'm a complete zombie. Every word you're reading right now, except the word "now," came out of some programmed state of being. I hope you're as disgusted with me as much as you should be with yourselves.

I'm sad to say that 30-day trials aren't going so well. Water, no cursing, and meditation are still cruising, Chinese is as well, but crunches have been all but abandoned for the last couple of days, and "writing for an hour" hasn't shown its face for four days-ish. I am at least a tiny bit ashamed.

Hmm. Sleepy.