Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Inequality on the Chinese subway

I was traveling around Beijing all day today, on secret errands which I can't disclose due to patient <--> National Security Agency confidentiality agreements (signed implicitly via tapped phones and hacked email accounts). I've been on the subway a billion times, but today was the first time I noticed that the directions you get at the screen doors before entering the train are vastly different in Chinese and in English.

Here's what Chinese people get:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the train is arriving. Please remember to keep elbows away from gonads as you board the train, avoid spitting on each other, and most importantly, don't forget that it is our culture's great tradition to respectfully give your seat to elders, children, cripples and pregnant women (if it's a boy). Ride safely and politely, for God's sake!

And here's what foreigners get:
Ladies and Gentlemen, the train is arriving. Please stand firm and hold the handrail.

Now comes the pop quiz. Which way did you interpret this scenario? Is it that Chinese people need all those reminders to help keep them in line and not tear each other to pieces like wild animals? Or is it that foreigners are utterly hopeless, so wasting reminders on them isn't worth the cost of the electricity? Or did the writers guild go on strike in the middle of penning the 2nd announcement? Or did they flip a coin? Either way, shame on you, why don't you go think something nice about people for a change.

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