Don't do it or you'll have to do it again

Haven't written regularly in a while and haven't gotten any complaints. Time to try the opposite again.

Demonstrated ability in a domestic environment is a very dangerous thing. When I was younger, I took care never attempt to do something myself that had previously been done for me. Take for example peeling apples. My Mom and Dad can peel in an apple in 4.3 and and 4.1 seconds respectively without so much as shedding a pint of blood. It takes me a good 45 seconds to a minute to perform the same feat with the same safety margin, something I would never know if I hadn't strayed from the rulebook of my younger smarter self. But one time, long long ago, in this very same galaxy, Mom and Dad were too busy to peel an apple for on-the-brink-of-starvation Mark and offered him to try it himself with perhaps a "betcha can't do it!" for extra deceit points. And little Mark swallowed the poison pill, smashed the glass, took up the axe, and separated the peel (along with 90% of the apple) from the meat. And Mom and Dad said "Wow! Congratulations! Now you can do it yourself every time!"

Imagine what life would be like if from your very birth you held to the principle of not demonstrating ability. It would be cake with a tall glass of foaming Dr. Pepper, and someone would be spoon-feeding you both. You would still be wearing a diaper, you would weigh 800 pounds (that's 2000 pounds for you Jupiter dwellers!), and your parents would still treat you like your grandparents do - with utter disregard for responsibility and sole purpose to spoil. As it is, I have to peel my own apples, change my own diaper, and write my own blog entries.

Someone: they could get a restraining order.
Mark: restraining orders are probably expensive.
Mario: nah, at least buy one get one free.

Gene (telling a parable): There was this guy once, who had many many adventures. I'm not going to tell you about any of them, because I don't remember a single one.

(Gene is joking about some female spiritual leader)
Gene: She only holds you to five of Moses's Commandements
Boris: what about the other four?