I Believe Shaved Is The Expression

Dreamed of a cool invention, but unfortunately not of how it works. It was a laptop, and the speakers worked in such a way that you could turn them on full blast and yet not hear anything. So far, very useful. Then, when you put your head at the right distance from the screen, you hear everything normally. You move your head out of the magic spot and again you hear nothing. There's also a dial you can use to adjust the location of the sweet spot.

Yesterday Gene shaved his head. I thought about it, flexed my Photoshop muscles, and shaved mine as well:



There are lots of reasons to shave one's head. Like most reasons, they split up into good reasons and bad reasons.

Some good reasons:

Your friends hate you, and you need another chance for a first impression. Chances are they won't recognize you with you new 'no do' do.

Your girlfriend did it, and she looks horrible. Trust me, this will get you laid. Or married. Hmm...maybe not such a good reason after all.

You just realized you already shaved half of your head.

You're butt-ugly, or in PC terms - aesthetically offensive. Your 57 makeovers didn't help. This is your last resort before you go under the knife.

The Apocalypse has come and gone. You're hungry and you're out of food. Hair has protein.

Some bad reasons:

You're an aspiring neo-Nazi, and they won't let you hate Jews with your Jew-fro.

You think you're black.

You just found your first grey hair.

Your head won't fit into that jar of honey, and you really really want those last few drops.

Unfortunately, even the good reasons rely heavily on situation. If you're only going by them, you might never shave your head. Luckily, there's a great third category, called the 'no good reason' category - one I subscribe to daily.

Some no good reasons to shave your head:

You want to know when it's raining as early as possible.

You want to test whether your head is hot enough to cook an egg.

You flipped a coin. Heads = shave your head, tails = ____ your _____. (Imagine you're Chinese, and use your imagination to fill in the blanks). You got lucky - the coin landed heads.

You're a heroin addict and all of your other exposed veins are infected. No...wait...that belongs in good reasons.

Anyway, making this decision is a headache. Good thing there's Photoshop. You can shave your head in there, and no one will ever interrogate you about it. And then when you're done, you can grow half of it back, if you want.



Or you can just shave it for real.