Food and Sleep

Yesterday I went to Daniel's church to see him play guitar. His performance was satisfactory, but in order to see all of it I had to stay through an hour-long intermission, known in churches as a sermon.

The highlight of the general church experience was communion. I had never partaken of Jesus before, or of any other man for that matter, and neither has my family ever exhibited cannibalistic tendencies, but the experience was interesting to me nonetheless. I was sure that the humor inherent in this ritual had been thoroughly exhausted by church-goers across the past two millenia, but wisps of conversation floating past me as I stood in line proved otherwise. I'll reproduce a couple, though it pains me to do so.

"Jesus is OK, but Oreos are way better."
...
"They should make Jesus-flavored Cheez-its."
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"Have you ever had carbonated Jesus blood? No!? You're missing out man, it's amazing. You should get some, it's only 50 cents a can at Fiesta or you can get 2-liters at Kroger's for a buck sixty nine."
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"Hey, you! Yea, you! Stop stuffing your face you vulture, this ain't no after-funeral party!"
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(to the priest) "No thank you, I brought my own."
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"I'll have a decaf."

And people have the nerve to accuse Christians of being conservative.

I am getting weaker and weaker when it comes to falling asleep through noise. I took a nap today from 8:30PM to 11:00PM and woke up somewhere in the middle because of a sensation both strange and completely ungrounded in reality; the sensation of being late to something. I set myself a safety net, an 11:00PM alarm, and tried to fall back asleep, only to find that I couldn't because Mario was snoring in 7/8, a most irritating time signatue as I have said on other occasions. Luckily, I didn't make the connection with the earlier sleeping disaster, so well described in the previous post, though the similarities were many. Mario stuck to one pace, he refused to change his pattern of raspy sounds despite all my efforts to mind control him into doing so, and he made no indication of ever to stop.

I persisted in trying to fall asleep with a stubbornness unprecedented by my gender, and finally did, only to have a very long and frustrating dream. I dreamt that I was trying to match my mind's and body's various frequencies to Mario's snoring. I know it was a dream because I woke up to my alarm at 11:00PM, and reality-Mario wasn't even in his bed, much less snoring. Instead, I heard the familiar rustle outside - reality-Mario was stuffing his face with Cheez-its.