Started playing Final Fantasy VIII yesterday - a famous if outdated RPG. RPG stands for Really really really ridiculously long but having a mildy interesting Plot Game. This is the worst type of game in the world, and unfortunately also my favorite. It is the kind of game that eats right through your time. If you have jet-lag and you need to disappear ten hours from your schedule before you can go to sleep, you play an RPG. With the advent of the first non-text-based RPGs in the early 90s, they were briefly considered as an alternative to general anaesthesia. However, the side-effects were determined to be incomparably more harmful to health.
Did you know that every year, five hundred million people in the United States alone, die of starvation because they are in the middle of an RPG and can't so much as take a five minute break to fill up on Tootsie Rolls? This is tragic, and considering our population is three hundred million, completely false, but it's distressing nonetheless. In China, the same statistic gives a number twice as big, though of course equally false.
Anyway, if you decide to follow in my footsteps, I would start with Chrono Trigger and Final Fantasy VII, the tried and true classics. If you're still alive afterward, you've earned yourself the right to decide the next ten titles on your own. Safety tip? Start out weighing four hundred pounds.
Kinda funny, from today (while watching Jack Bauer on 24):
Jack Bauer: You saved my life.
Mario: So, if you save someone's life twice, what does that mean? Cause if you save it once they have to be your slave.
Mark: You have to suppress two urges to kill them.
Mario: No you don't. You can suppress one and be their slave.
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